NiveusUmbra

Hey guys! I'll cut to the chase.

I will soon be deleting this account, and moving to a new one. I will probably officially delete in about a week.
As for reasons, I have changed so much as a person and bounced around in so many different directions since I first created this account. And yes, I think there is a lot of value in being able to look back at where you've come from. But, I really REALLY want a fresh start. For my own sanity I think I need to shed a lot of the past and the complications involved in it. And I am super excited about starting over. 
If anyone would like to continue watching, my new account is , and I would love to have you.
I have joined a fantastic ARPG group that will keep me very active and I seriously can't wait seriously. Seriously. o_o

So thanks to anyone that has stuck with me here for this long. I have not been a very active contributor so I really appreciate those that have stayed. 

Onwards and upwards!
And lots of love. <3

Yeah, it was about time I got rid of that last entry. Too angsty.

It's a new journal! Woooooo!

I dunno.

Felt like getting rid of the old one cause it was so negative. Granted, I felt every bit of everything in that journal, and I still completely agree with it.
However, if I'm gonna try to move forward, looking at an account of all my anger and sadness every time I open dA is probably not going to help.
So new journal!

I'll probably update another one soonish, as a sort of life update, cause I do that.

Anyway, ta ta for now!

I have never once claimed that I don't make mistakes. I do.
I've made quite a few lately it seems.
And I know I have hurt people. As much as I wish that I have never and will never hurt anyone, there's an unfortunate part of being human that means I will sometimes hurt people. But that's okay. Because I have been hurt countless times too. So for those I have or will hurt, sorry, but I know what it's like, we'll make it out alright.
And at least I go to a lot more effort than many not to hurt people. So hey, at least I'm trying.

But I am never going to feel bad about who I am. And I am never going to regret the things I have done. I will never question the decisions I am about to make when I know fully and totally that they are the right choices for me and where I am in my life.
I fall deep into the dark sometimes, and it's difficult to fight off nagging shadows that urge me to act on stupid impulses, but I always know that I'll manage to climb back out and that when I do I'll be better for it.

So no one better dare try to put me down, or act like they know what's good for me more than I do. Never dare try to make me regret the pathways I have taken. If a decision I have made had an adverse affect on you I extend my apologies, because I promise I have never lingered awake at night plotting how to bring pain to those around me. If I could heal all the wounds I've created I would in a second. But I am only 19 years old and have a lot of life still to live, a lot of experience to gain, and a lot of mistakes to make.
And I love the person that I am. Therefore, I love every moment that has aided in creating this person. And I love the connections I have somehow managed to forge here and now. The ones that will last forever, and the ones that may only last for a small wonderful moment.

Despite insecurity or depression or fear or whatever obstacle may hinder my journey, I am confident in myself, and in the fact that I am trying my best to bring something good into the world at my fingertips.

So don't you dare try to take that from me, because you will fail.

So world, update time.

I feel like a failure lately because I did very poorly this semester.
Yeah, shit happens I guess, and I've done what I needed to in order to take care of myself as best as I can, but boy am I unsatisfied with the way this went.
But, all I can do is look at this as a learning experience, and be resolute in the fact that I'm never going to sink this low again.

In spite of the way class went, other things have been good. I have lofty tattoo plans as everyone saw! : D
I just wish everything wasn't so expensive!

And, yeah, my self-esteem's been a little sunk lately.

Mostly I just wanted to get rid of that last old journal, cause it was hella long : P

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well!
Ta ta for now!! <3